Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
