Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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