so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
