Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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