1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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