people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
