omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
