Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
