she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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