Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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