I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize