If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
