nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
