I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
