Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
