But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
