Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
