VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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