hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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