to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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