I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize