I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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