dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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