Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize