i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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