You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
