I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
only if we run a train.
done.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
