Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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