Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
