someone owes me an orgasm
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
