It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
