Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
