i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
