is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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