i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
