Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
