I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
