I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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