...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
