her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
