That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
