My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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