it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
