I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
