We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
