I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
