I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
As shirtless as possible
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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