Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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