I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
