Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There's always time for handjobs
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
