The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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