at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
