what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
