She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
