Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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