There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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