so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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