I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
