Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
