cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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