so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
