I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
