Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
