i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
