Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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