do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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